My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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