I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
