my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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