Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize