How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
