are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
birth control should be required to get into college
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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