Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
