dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize