yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
