i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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