i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
