Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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