What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
NoShamevember. You game?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
