I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
