Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
