If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
