i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she smelled like a LAN party
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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