It's Friday. Sex?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
