i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
