I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just got carded by a ten year old.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize