i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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