Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
