Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
