i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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