Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
