Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
