You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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