super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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