Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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