i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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