we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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