OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
