just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
