My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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