I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
