Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
