I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
