he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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