yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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