We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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