y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
