i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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