Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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