Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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