I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
