Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
