Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
