I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
