That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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