Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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