drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
only if we run a train.
done.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
