At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
