Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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