did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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