I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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