But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
