i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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