at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
