may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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