your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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