are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
