I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
