also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
