what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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