i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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