Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
